Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hey, welcome to give me attitude.
Speaker 1 00:00:05 I'm Adam Williams, the creator and host of this podcast series that shines light on humanness and creativity. If you've been following along with humanity the past handful of months, since its rebirth, so to speak in podcast form, then you know that most of what happens here is about me talking with guests about their lived experiences and their life stories and their place in the world really, and what their views are on that. And from that place and those conversations, they usually amount to 60 to 90 minutes of our learning about how the guest lives, humanness and creativity. And then in each episode, I also ask listeners, I asked you, how do you live humanist creativity in your life? So today I'm getting into my own exploration of humanist and creativity with you that I produce this podcast and have been publishing humanity content online for three plus years.
Speaker 1 00:01:04 Now, of course, this is a big piece of my own story, my own expression of being creative and human in the world. It's part of my own answer to this question, but it's time that I at least try to go deeper because, uh, you know, here's the thing, I feel a responsibility not to just put that question on you or to put it on the guests who come onto the podcast. I mean, I don't, I don't ask my sons to do things that I'm not willing to do, and I've never asked workmates or sports teammates to do that either. So I think, I think it's time for me to do this. I think doing otherwise treats it like it's a hierarchy. Like somehow there's a gap between me and you like with Humana to my asking questions and putting those on other people, putting them on the spot to answer me. You know, that's not really the gig. As I see this, I think being curious and learning and facilitating human, emotional, intellectual, and creative connections is what I'm trying to accomplish here. And to make those connections, I think I've got to be willing to be vulnerable along with everybody else. Not just put guests out there to jump through hoops because I ask them to, so I'm going to explore this thing myself out loud right here, but first let's take a breath while the transition music rolls. And then we'll jump into this thing of humanism,
Speaker 0 00:02:25 Anybody that I have stamped humanity as being all about, okay,
Speaker 1 00:02:33 What does it mean to live humanist and creativity? What does it mean to me anyway? You can think about that for yourself while I see what flow I find here. And, you know, for me, Humana to itself has to be part of the answer that sort of feels a bit meta in a funny way, because I'm talking on the humanity podcast about Humana to itself is key to my own expression of being human and creative, which is what I say humanity is all about. It's all very circular. But anyway, uh, when I talk with guests, like I said, for 60 to 90 minutes, it's about all this human stuff. And then we finished by asking them more directly about their humanist and creativity. It's like a variation of the question about how they live it in their lives. It gets to be sort of a summary thought for that conversation.
Speaker 1 00:03:17 And lately I've been asking that wrap up question in some sort of form like this, what are your core values? What matters to you at heart to how you live and to how you show up in your life? And, you know, I have never explicitly answered that question myself, not even for myself and definitely not for sharing on this podcast with you until now. So I'm going to start with a word association thing, which is what I did with a note pad and pen to kick off my flow of thoughts to get going here. So it's a word association thing about my answer to what my core values are or what the things are that I think speak to me and, and seem to be of important to my daily life. And here's some of the ones that I came up with. You know, my values include showing up, showing up consistently and ready to participate in my own life, in what other people need.
Speaker 1 00:04:09 For me, it includes shining light on others and being a good dad and practicing the recognizing and honoring of my own legit, real, authentic self. The best of me that's unadulterated by others even, or especially when imposter syndrome is working over time and kind of trying to weasel its way in from the inside there, uh, into my thoughts and rippling out the good generally to others as much as possible. I also am big on clear and thoughtful communication. I'm being kind but being direct, being willing to be direct in solving problems efficiently, not avoiding them. And, and when we work together to make things better, we can make life a win, win level. Win-win to me it's not a zero sum game. I win you lose leadership then is also super important to me, especially the idea, especially the idea of leading from where we are, no matter where we are in our family, in our community, in our workplace, in the structures and the systems and those perceived rankings and hierarchies that we encounter in daily life.
Speaker 1 00:05:19 Like maybe that socially, or definitely you find that in places like at work, you know, those systems often lack honest, honest, courageous leadership, and they really need us as individuals to step forward. So I value that by stepping forward with strength and integrity and without waiting to be granted someone else's permission to be there, to be a views, to be a light when it's needed to be strength, to be a backbone, to be a thoughtful, compassionate, caring, you know, voice. And I think it's always needed. Truth is at the heart for me being trustworthy, reliable for others and being able to trust others and a huge one here, huge curiosity, curiosity, especially leads me back to why I do humanity and to how humanity is an expression of my own interest. In the honest human stuff, the experience, the way we live it, the way we share it.
Speaker 1 00:06:22 And you know, my take is that there's a thread of humanity that runs through each of us and it connects us. It binds us all together. So when one person shares their experiences of joy and challenge, maybe it's trauma resilience, things that are funny, things that are scary, things that hurt when people share those things with me through Humana, to, for you to also connect with, then we all can feel it with that person who's sharing, right? I mean, we all have our own stories that help us to get it, that help us to connect with what's being said, what's being felt. And so, like I often say about all this in other stories, we can hear our own, we can know ourselves through each other and vice versa. So these conversations then for humanity ultimately are about empowering connection first with ourselves. And then with others, Humana two, as an extension of my interest in the world also is so much about empathy.
Speaker 1 00:07:26 And we can feel that even when the specifics of a story, the details sound different than our own. So true fact here, we have not all been a human Cannonball with Ringling brothers, like my episode, 15 guests, Eliana grace, and we have not all had overcome the death of a sibling as a child or committed to a monastic Buddhist life like sister iodine, Madeira and episode five, or been a 10 year old boy whose father dies. And we're left to figure out things to figure out how to rise from poverty and gang violence. They would come in nationally, prominent chef on TV and owning multiple restaurants like chef brother luck. And brother has, who talks with me and who shares these stories in episode 18 coming up next week. But we all know what fear feels like. We all know what loss feels like with the consequences of life choices.
Speaker 1 00:08:30 Feel like we've had our own, we've all had our own versions of risk taking and triumph too. So we all have a story. We all have that threat. We all have humanist and creativity to share, to talk about, to connect through. And for me, that immense curiosity that I have to understand and listen, and to care about other stories, their experiences, their perspectives. That is again, huge. So big in what drives me in my humanness, my humanity, my creative and Humana too. And how I share through Humana too, and connects through Humana too. It leads me to reach out to prospective guests and it guides my research and my preparation. It guides my questions as our conversations for a podcast episode unfold. In fact, you know, I'm going to share here, I guess, a behind the scenes kind of thing about how my curiosity and the process of digging into research and learning about guests as I get ready to talk with them, because I, you know, I want to come to the microphone, come to the conversation with thoughtfulness, some intelligence, and it really gets my energy's flowing.
Speaker 1 00:09:48 As I'm learning about people, as I'm finding out more and more information, you know, I can dig online and I can read articles, articles. They've been part of maybe it's things that they've written and published or created and published or shared publicly into the world for celebration for criticism, you know, they have fought through their own imposter syndrome and fears. Maybe it's podcasts that they've been part of before with other people like me asking questions where they've told, you know, pieces of their life stories in their work. And I get this sense of urgency and amazement while I'm going through all of this, finding it all. I'm a, I'm becoming an even bigger fan of becoming an advocate. I get kind of attached and I get excited to talk with them. I learned hints of what this person is about and how they show up in the world and what they create and what they contribute in areas.
Speaker 1 00:10:37 They have expertise in and things that they have overcome in their lives to keep on keeping on with it all. So when the guest has put a lot out into the world and has been part of so much someone like brother luck, who like I said is coming up next week, or Lisa Congdon, who was featured in episode 16, which was last week. You know, at first it's a bombardment of the census. For me, it's an overload from so many virtual doorways into their story. I'm already connecting with them. I'm already feeling with them. I'm already feeling through that empathy. And then as part of my process, you know, I have to figure out how to slow my heart rate down from the excitement sometimes, honestly, and the anxiety that also comes in for how do I take all this in? And so I try to breathe enough and choose a path and to start to absorb information, knowing that I have a small mountain of a distillation work to do.
Speaker 1 00:11:39 So. I find when I harvest the information, then I sift through and I refine my understanding of what's there. I clarify what my personal questions of curiosity are. And I think about what the questions are that listeners that you might like to able to ask the guests, if it was used sitting there having that conversation, you know, if you had the chance to ask them for yourself. So in that way, I see myself as a conduit has another expression of my humanity, of my humanness and creativity is as a conduit. I see that creatively. I see that, um, functionally through humanity, but I also see it that way spiritually and that, you know, as a conduit for what the gods send through me, the light that I have to share with the world, what it is essentially that is purpose or meaning for me as an individual in the world, just like you have, just like, again, everyone has this common thread, uh, also involves what we have to share in the world.
Speaker 1 00:12:39 And more specifically, I serve as a conduit through Humana to in this way, I see myself as a voice for listeners as a voice for you. Who's getting to be the one sitting there with the guest, but also as an amplifier for guests, the stories that they're sharing, the experiences and the lessons learned. And I take seriously, the honor of being trusted to honestly, compassionately, faithfully, fulfill that role, fulfill that function, that purpose to be seen as someone who guests feel comfortable with and who listeners can count on to be sincere and thoughtful, and to be willing to dig into spaces with guests that aren't always easy to go into. I mean, really how, how do you talk about politics, faith, sexuality, identity, and the traumas of life. The things we maybe have tried to bury and cultivate dialogues that are vulnerable and meaningful when so much of what we're taught in society is not to talk about these things, not to talk about these things do not open yourselves up to connection.
Speaker 1 00:13:43 That's what we're taught in one form or another, I think largely because of fear that instead of connection, what we'll find is disconnection, at least find stress, possibly conflict, contradiction judgment, or whatever it else, whatever else it is that we, we fear. So I'm not only looking to quench something of my curiosity with these conversations, but to help guests feel good about their sharing and to help listeners find a satisfying connection with them. And within themselves, it's a balancing act of being the journalists that I used to be and being willing to communicate honestly, and directly to ask about a tough experience in a person's story while honoring the person who is sharing it, it matters to me how I serve up questions for a guest to not feel put on the spot to not feel poked at or provoked yet, be able to bring up a question that goes into a meaningful, both honorable, and even usually private place, a place they normally don't talk about with strangers, which I often am, and to have that person feel cared about and safe and comfortable so they can share it without fear of judgment or whatever it is that they most are fearing.
Speaker 1 00:15:05 I think my humanist is on the table in those moments. Am I trustworthy? Am I being a good listener? Am I being compassionate? And what I'm asking and how I'm asking it and in how I'm listening to the response, am I serving the guest who was generous and being part of this with me who was bold and courageous and being part of this with me, who was willing to be vulnerable? Am I serving you as the listener and helping you to connect with what you need from me, from the podcast, from Humana to, from this particular conversation I'm having with a person. Sometimes I think out loud to my wife about all this, all those questions. And I wonder if I'm taking it too seriously. I wonder if I'm thinking too much, if I'm spending too much time with each step of this process. And if what I really should do is just be the opposite, be the opposite of me essentially, and just wing it.
Speaker 1 00:16:00 And in a sense, not care how it goes. Not at least not worry about it now, worry about how it goes. But the answer every time that arises for me is that I have to be me and I have to do this my way, even if it takes more time, more effort, more thought and do this, how it feels right to me, it's the honest way. And it's the only way that I know. And to me, an expression of my humanist is to put the compassionate thought and care into this whole process from initial research, before I ever reach out to the person to final editing everything in between small talk and surface level stuff, just isn't where my curiosity lies. It's just not what I feel. Humanity is a practice of humanism, creativity for me, the facilitation of this vulnerable, Trey, just sharing and connection.
Speaker 1 00:16:54 That's what it's about. You know, I'm going to stick with my curiosity line of thought a bit longer here because I see a doorway to something that feels even more vulnerable, vulnerable for me to share. And I want to, I want to walk through that. I want to keep forging ahead. Just like I would hope a guest sitting with me for a conversation would, so I've been incredibly curious for as long as I can remember. I grew up in middle America, small town, predominantly white, probably more or less exclusively Christian, very vanilla and all the TV shows in the movies and the news reports were about somewhere else, anywhere, anywhere else. And I wanted to know more for myself about what was out there, firsthand get to know for myself. And one of the biggest experiences of out there did I up knowing anything about for so many years in my childhood was related to my dad having been drafted into the U S army in the late sixties.
Speaker 1 00:17:57 And then he went to Vietnam, a place so different from what I knew and under circumstances. So loaded with weight, I could only imagine or read about or see to pick it on movie screens. My curiosity was why I felt so just achingly compelled to travel in the world when I was old enough to do it on my own and to see, hear, taste, and learn all these things for myself directly firsthand, and not just in what might will be skewed history books or on movie screens. And it's why I even wanted to know. I, I actually wanted to know the experience of war because I wanted to know intimately and deeply the consequences and hurt caused by it. In fact, I did join the army in 1998. I enlisted after graduating college. And it was a way to take that chance of getting out in the world to get out and serve a greater good to possibly know the unconscionable.
Speaker 1 00:18:59 It was in part out of compassion for those who experienced those horrors in the world who live such different existences than what I had known the families living in the midst of it, all the kids that grew up in it all. And also the combatants who carry out the things that plagued them emotionally and spiritually and psychologically forever after to be clear, I never did go to war. I never was in combat. Despite having joined the army, I ended up being sent, not to a hotbed of conflict, like in recent many years has been going on in Afghanistan or Iraq, but I was sent to South Korea, which, which made sense because the army had invested a lot of time and money in training me to be a Korean linguist. So if war, wasn't going to sit off again, going to flare up again on the Korean peninsula, then that just wasn't ever going to be part of my experience.
Speaker 1 00:19:59 It was just that simple. And incidentally, it turns out that the closest then that I have come to resolving the curiosity within me that I've held since childhood in that felt sort of way has come from the work of a war poet by the name of Brian Turner. And so I like to share this book for those who have a similar curiosity. So a side note here about Turner and his first poetry collection here, bullet was published in 2005. And that's the first that I got my hands on is the it's the collection that made an impact. And about that book, a reviewer for the New York times, I have held onto this quote. It was published in that review of here, bullet that back in 69, that it was said the first after the first human walked on the moon someday they'll send a poet and we'll find out what it's really like.
Speaker 1 00:20:51 And that's how I have felt about Turner's work in lieu of having my own experience of being in that kind of environment in that situation more than from all the movies and the history books, his poetry put me there. And let me feel things, um, that I'll never know directly. I'm going to add a link to here, bullet in the show notes, if you're curious to go further with it, but curiosity, that's the point there curiosity drives me. It's a desire to know intimately and to feel that drives me. It drives Humana to, and when I can't know something directly personally, um, for myself firsthand, like someone else's lived experience, then the next best thing is to have a real, honest, meaningful, deep conversation with them. Like I try to have with Humana to in fact talking about feeling and the importance of empathetically connecting through the heart, through emotions, life to me sometimes.
Speaker 1 00:21:55 And that's, especially lately in these circumstances, we're all living with right now. It seems sometimes like a practice of balancing what I feel as an incredibly heavy and painful weight of the world. It can get me down, it can get me down on people and systems for sure, but it gets me down on people in this vague collection of egos and personalities that often just seem so saturated with selfishness and ignorance and anger and greed, and a lack of empathy, a lack of curiosity, those things that are so important to me, the universe is a whole connected thing. And sometimes it seems collectively like we're missing that. And it's in those moments that I feel like just tossing it all, turning my back, detaching disconnecting. But you know, in a funny way, it reminds me, it reminds me of Frank has stanza on Seinfeld. If you remember, if you're of an age to, of have been assigned Seinfeld fan in the nineties, then you might remember this scene where Frank has stains a stands at the dinner table during his annual celebration of Festivus.
Speaker 1 00:22:59 And he kicks off his traditional airing of grievances with this line. I've got a lot of problems with you people. Now you're going to hear about it, but that's not me to actually disconnect and turn my back and just let all that hurt of the world. From that weight, turn me away. I'm not going to get on Twitter and start raging, and I'm not going to stand at the table and start pounding. I just feel the anxiety and the pain, and I want to withdraw from the senselessness of it all, but I don't. And I won't because simultaneously I hold a love and a passion about the amazingness and the capabilities within human beings within me, within you, each of us, all of us like these vulnerable human stories, the stories that I learn about and connect with through Humana, to the things that even when I'm researching, get me attached to the human on the other side of that story and how we all triumph over these traumatic things is, is just so incredible.
Speaker 1 00:23:59 And that's the mix that I balanced the sometimes fine line that I walk in the process of being human and trying to create good in the world, especially through Humana too. Another thing I've often said during the outro at the very end of podcast, episodes refers to are creating the world. We wish to live in that we can create the world we wish to live in. You know, if it's not what we want it to be. If those things are getting us down on there, heavy and hurtful that we can do something positive to shine light and help make it better and that we can do it together. So I'm going to boil it down to this, this thing, this thing that I'm doing, this thing that you're listening to Humana to it ultimately is a practice of curiosity on my part of sharing a practice of empathy and of creating more what I want.
Speaker 1 00:24:46 That's the, that's the summary thought on that and not just more of what I want. I think it's more of what, what you want, right? And what all of us want this positive, something better and deeper. It's about empowering and facilitating connection and just recognition of the fact that we're all connected, that common thread, that invisible common thread. So to day, that's my answer to how I live humanist and creativity in my life, but my answer, your answer, whatever they're emerging, evolving, living things, but I'm still going to ask the question of you once again. How do you live humanists and creativity in your life? Let me know. You can send me an email. If you'd like to share your answer, share it with me privately. Maybe we collect enough of these. That one day we can have a special episode and share more of them. You'll find my address after the music rolls again, that transition music taken us to the outro. But one last thing before we get there, remember that you can hear the answers to that question or some version of it from every guest on the humanity podcast is the last question I asked. So it's at the end of each episode and of each conversation, and you can hear that range, that variety everyone's answer is different and it's compelling. And it offers
Speaker 0 00:26:10 For its own reasons in its own way.
Speaker 1 00:26:22 Thanks for listening to how I connect the dots of humanity and my own expression of humanist and creativity today. If you want to share your answer to the question I asked you about your humanist creativity, just a few moments ago, you can reach me by email@adamathumanatwodotcomorbyinstagramdirectmessageathumanatoinformationandlinksrelatedtoandworksmentionedinthisepisodeorintheshownotesathumanity.com.
Speaker 0 00:26:47 That's where you also can subscribe to humanity's monthly email newsletter until the next episode. I'm Adam Williams creator and host of the humanity podcast. Thanks for being.
